Dealing with difficult cases
Sometimes it really makes sense for someone to change. You think so. But still, they just don't seem to move. Why is that? In any case, it helps if you press the right button. The misrecognition matrix helps you find it...
People are only open to exhibiting different behavior and learning when they recognize the situation from four consecutive stages:
- Fact
- Issue
- Changeability and
- I-Changeability.
As long as you ignore a level, there is no point in moving on to the next phase.
In the example about global warming, an example of the misunderstanding of the relevant level is shown in italics.
Do we agree on the facts? Do we know what's going on?
Global warming, no way, that's not true at all, temperatures fluctuate.
Are those facts even a problem for us/me? Because if there's no problem, we don't have to do anything.
Yes, the Earth is warming up, so what? I like it.
Can the problem be changed at all?
Yes, the Earth is warming, and that's very bad. But we can't do anything about that.
Final phase: Is the solution beyond my reach? Even then, I don't need to do anything.
Yes, lower CO2 emissions do help, but of course I have no influence on that; the government has to do that.
Only when people believe in their ability to change themselves will they be open to exhibiting different behavior.
Let's take a practical example. You work in an organization, and the project portfolio is struggling. So, it seems logical to you that everyone should contribute to finding projects. And no, your people don't have to become slick salespeople, of course, but simply maintaining network contact with existing clients is something everyone should do. You think this is fun and useful, even when there's no shortage of projects. But one of your seniors disagrees, and despite your encouragement, he's not taking any action. Let's look at what you could do at the four levels.
I think we're worrying about nothing, we don't need to find any extra assignments at all.
Profit figures are under pressure, and revenue has been declining for two years. That seems like a significant fact to you. But does your colleague know this too? And does your colleague understand the consequences?
Intervention: If you, as a professional, don't know things are going badly, why would you change your mind? Explain the facts. Management might discuss the profit figures, but doesn't tell professionals enough about the problems and what the long-term consequences might be.
Yes, the profit figures are lower than last year. But there's still profit, so what's the problem? Does the CEO have to drive an even bigger car then?
Intervention: In this example, it helped to make clear that with lower profit figures, we do not have the money to work on the great innovations we want to create together.
Yes, it's a problem that we're performing poorly, and it's also frustrating that we can't innovate. But we operate within the public market, and that puts a brake on all projects (the previous crisis). There's simply no money in the market, no matter how hard you try.
Possible approach: A brainstorming session with a group of people on how we can increase our market share and also conquer the profit market.
II understand that networking is a good way to find more clients and help them better. I think that's important too. But I'm just not much of a networker.
The approach can go two ways:
Go along with this and say, "That's fine, then you don't have to do it." And there are many other ways to contribute to finding customers.
The other approach is: Start a conversation. Use the tips from Chapter 5.4 about shyness. Many people who say they're not much of a networker actually do so at their sports club. Or they think networking is only about relationships and you should only talk about the kids. Of course, it's perfectly fine to talk about a cool new technique.
The theory of the misrecognition matrix comes from the ideas of Transactional Analysis.
This article was written by Maarten van Os and Jan Willem van den Brink from DreamfactoryIt's based on a chapter from our book Why don't they just do it? – Make sure your consultants and technicians find and keep clients happy.
If you wish to use it, we would greatly appreciate attribution.
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